How to Stop a Conversation: Two Methods.

First, if someone asks you whether you are a dog person or a cat person, the correct thing to say to stop the conversation is this: "Hmm. Good question. I've never thought about it. I guess when it comes to pets, I'd have to say I'm most in favor of the animal that will yield the most meat... you know, in the event of the apocalypse. Given the current high prices of traditional pet foods, I'd have to say I think I'd side with Guinea Pigs, which are not only considered a delicacy in many South American countries,  but will also put on considerable weight on a diet that can be easily gathered from the woods and fields near my home."

Second, if someone asks about politics, just say what one of my students did today: "One of the most important things about me is that I hate Barack Obama." Then, when someone asks you (as another student did) why this is, just say, "Oh, you know. The obvious reasons."